Captain's Log: Encounter with Paul Komo
Having received a 419 scam offer from a man claiming to be Paul Komo in my
normal email, I created a Hotmail account and replied to him with an offer of
interest. I wanted to see if he'd pick up on the fact that this was an email
address he hadn't mailed anything to before.
A simple IP check traced him to a small ISP in... Lagos, Nigeria. Fancy that.
For ease of reading, his letters are in green, my
responses are in black, and any editorial comments I
have are in blue italics.
PAGE 3
Like clockwork, Paul replies, this time send an attachement!
Thank you uncle James for giving me back happiness in life again ever since my father died. You see uncle James instead of me to call you my friend I call you my father.
Yes uncle I really appreciate your concern of help me. Am also happy to hear that you know the type of account that will suit this transaction and I will like to have the information immediately.
Impatient little guy, isn't he?
As for working know I will like to continue my education as soon as I come over while you do business with the hole money.
I will like to have your passport not for any other thing but to know more about you.
Oh, suuuuure. That's all you need it for. Re-hee-hee-healy!
Uncle James, will received the documents as soon the change has been made.
Darn. This might make it harder to see what laughably fake documents he's going to send.
As for the food instead of you to buy food from the, maybe you send me any amount of your choice to buy for myself here because our local food is not in your country
Yeah. He's really starving. So starving that he'll wait for money instead of food.
we call it ACHEKEE and ALOKO.
Wrong gamble! I'm betting he was thinking some rich white guy would have no idea what those foods were. Too bad for him there's a restaurant right down the block from my job that serves up Aloko...
Uncle James I according to the lawyer, he will use the money to go to high court of justice to issue some documents to enable smooth transfer, that was why I want the money to be sent to be, so that I will make sure he starts the job before I pay him.
That’s good to talk to the lawyer, this is his
address but please do not harass him so much to avoid threatening me. Name:
Barrister Morris Atue Kaka esq.
M .A . Kaka & Company. (Solicitors &
Notary Public) Ilot 15 Joseph Anoma Street
Plateaux,
Abidjan Cote d`Ivoire.
Tel: +225-0588-2667
Email kakachambers@lawyer.com
Huh huh huh. Hey Beavis, he said "kaka". Huh huh huh.
Know uncle, the address is not vague, CLETUS EKENE is my father gateman he still lives with me here, I love him so much because he cares for me and the place where the western union is, is very far but if you are having double mind on it send what ever you want to sent to my name PAUL KOMO address ABIDJAN COTE D’IVOIRE.
With all pleasure, below you will see my picture, what will it cost me to send my picture to my new family. I hope to hear from you
Thank you uncle James, I will love you forever.
Paul
NB: Please I would have reply yopu since morning but due to I don't have money
to access into the internet.
Seems to be doing okay so far. And yes, he attached a picture. It doesn't look it came from a magazine. But the pose DOES remind me of something Scott Sharkey once said: "If you see a guy with one foot leaning against the wall-- that's a male prostitute. If you see a guy with two feet leaning against the wall-- that's Spider Man. Shake his hand."
RE: My picture.
Dear Paul.
>Thank you uncle James for giving me back happiness in
>life again ever since my father died. You see uncle
>James instead of me to call you my friend I call you
>my father.
Paul, reaching out like that... I can't help but feel closer to you.
In fact, part of the reason I decided to help you was because you remind me of my late son. His name was Marcus David, and he was a brilliant scientist.
You may have heard of his famous Genesis project. It was very successful, and would have been
revolutionary, had it been allowed to succeed.
Sadly, due to the neglect and carelessness, he was murdered by a Lt. Kurge. How my heart feels
bitter at this loss, even so many years later.
Note: This is all a reference to events that take place in the second Star Trek movie.
Of course, justice is a dish best served cold, and that dish should be served on a plate chilled to at least 20 degrees below room
temperature. A garnish of parsley is traditional.
Please, if you are to call me "uncle", don't use "James". It's too formal, far too formal.
Only other military officers or my workers call me James. You can call me "Jim", it's a nickname for James.
>Yes uncle I really appreciate your concern of help me.
>Am also happy to hear that you know the type of
>account that will suit this transaction and I will
>like to have the information immediately.
Yes! I will make it so, at transaction factor five!
I am setting up an account in an offshore trust. I can't use a company account here in the US. Such a move would be
HIGHLY illogical. I have the account information printed below. It will NOT be active
until next week, but here is the account information to hold onto until next week.
Bank of Asia
Naklua Road 90/27 Moo5
North Pattaya
Account # 6088033694
This is a completely fake, but genuine sounding
account number and information. Oddly enough the part of the scam to get money
from you doesn't involve taking anything from your account; the scammers just
see this as a show of good faith.
I trust this should be sufficient for your needs.
>As for working know I will like to continue my
>education as soon as I come over while you do business
>with the hole money.
Yes, there are many prestigious universities here in the US. What would you wish to study?
In fact, I have been a very generous contributor to Miskatonic University and also the Unseen University. I have a wing at Miskatonic named after me, and a library in the heart of Unseen University. I am sure that I could pull a few strings and use my influence to secure you admission at either of these fine institutions of learning...
Both are completely fictitious. Mikskatonic U. is from
the H.P Lovecraft mythos, and Unseen University is a Wizard's School from Terry
Pratchett's Discworld series.
>I will like to have your passport not for any other
>thing but to know more about you.
My passport is attached.
And not a bad job, methinks.
I hope you do not laugh too hard at my looks; I swear, the camera always catches my bad side.
>Uncle James, will received the documents as soon the
>change has been made.
Good. As soon as they are made, scan them and email the documents to me, okay? That's an order, Number One.
>As for the food instead of you to buy food from the,
>maybe you send me any amount of your choice to buy for
>myself here because our local food is not in your
>country we call it ACHEKEE and ALOKO.
I must admit that Acheke is very hard to come by here in the good old USA; since there is a lot of difficulty in transporting the gari to make acheke, it's not only expensive, but a lot of trouble to
acquire.
Aloko however...
Aloko! I LOVE Aloko! That is one of my favorite dishes to make! I can never really get as many plantains as I want, I usually have to make do with bananas, which impart a rich aroma, but the texture just isn't the
same. What sort of fish do you like in your Aloko?
I wonder what his face must have looked like when I
was able to correctly expound on the two dishes he named.
I can cook some up for you if you like, and express send some to you in dry ice so that you can have some good food.
You see, I've always been a bit of a gourmand. I love to cook and prepare exotic foods from all over the globe, and
African, Indian, Japanese, and Nigerian cuisines are some of my favorites.
It was at this point a little light bulb went off in
my head. William Shatner hosted an ill-fated US version of the popular Fuji
TV/Food Network show "Iron Chef". In it, the "chairman" was
portrayed as a wealthy nobleman that sunk his entire fortune into creating a
cooking arena, and featured 4 expert chefs in various cooking styles. William
Shatner played "The Chairman" in the US version. And so, the next few paragraphs
sprung to being...
In fact, I've had a bit of a dream of mine... I'd love to show the ENTIRE WORLD something never seen before: a giant cooking arena. I would call it "Kitchen Stadium", and it would be as large as an entire football
field! It would be host to weekly battle between the world's top chefs from all over. The motivation to create Kitchen Stadium would be to encounter new original cuisines which could be called true artistic creations.
To realize this dream, I've have to be contacting the top chefs of various styles of cooking. But I never thought I could do so... until now.
I supposes these chefs would need a special title, like "Cooking Kings", or "Steel
Sous-Chefs".
Please, nephew Paul... please, can you give me any ideas for names?
I have attached a photo of myself doing some of my best
cooking as well. A publicity photo of Shatner as
the Chairman. I Photoshopped in some fire.
And give me an address that I can send you your delicious, home-cooked Aloko RIGHT away?
>Uncle James I according to the lawyer, he will use the
>money to go to high court of justice to issue some
>documents to enable smooth transfer, that was why I
>want the money to be sent to be, so that I will make
>sure he starts the job before I pay him.
That's good. No honest lawyer will accept any money for services up front; that's not how a real lawyer works.
Don't worry, my nephew, I won't let anyone take advantage of you at all anymore.
>That’s good to talk to the lawyer, this is his address
>but please do not harass him so much to avoid
>threatening me.
Of course.
I will have legal representation email Mr. Chambers right away.
>Know uncle, the address is not vague, CLETUS EKENE is
>my father gateman he still lives with me here, I love
>him so much because he cares for me and the place
>where the western union is, is very far but if you are
>having double mind on it send what ever you want to
>sent to my name PAUL KOMO address ABIDJAN COTE
>D’IVOIRE.
Okay, Paul. I hope I have enough stamps to mail it there.
>With all pleasure, below you will see my picture, what
>will it cost me to send my picture to my new family.
The wonderful thing about email is that pictures are totally free.
If you want postal rates, I can certainly furnish those for in a day or so.
You look like a strong, kid, decent, HONEST young man. Believe you me, I can spot a phony person from a mile away, and I can tell... you are
definitely going to be a trustworthy nephew.
I figured it would be good to butter him up AND seem like I had totally fallen for everything.
End log,
"Uncle Jim" T. Kirk