Captain's Log: Encounter with Paul Komo
Having received a 419 scam offer from a man claiming to be Paul Komo in my
normal email, I created a Hotmail account and replied to him with an offer of
interest. I wanted to see if he'd pick up on the fact that this was an email
address he hadn't mailed anything to before.
A simple IP check traced him to a small ISP in... Lagos, Nigeria. Fancy that.
For ease of reading, his letters are in green, my
responses are in black, and any editorial comments I
have are in blue italics.
PAGE 7
Now that Paul was taken care of, I had the lawyer, Barrister Kaka (heh heh heh) to attend to:
>FROM THE DESK OF KAKACHAMBERS.
>
>ATTN: MR. JAMES.
>
>DEAR SIR,
>
>UPON THE RECIEPT OF YOUR MAILS, ABOUT MR. PAUL KOMO, THE ONLY SON OF LATE MR. ALIMAN KOMO.
>
>AS A MATTER OF LEGITIMACY, I REALLY WANT TO HELP MR >PAUL BECAUSE OF HIS FATHER. HE >TOLD ME SOME TIMES
>AGO THAT HIS UNCLE IS WORRIED ABOUT THE LEGAL FEES >I ASKED FOR. >YES SIR, THIS IS AFRICA I KNOW THEM
>MORETHAN YOU DO.
Yes sir, I realize that now. I was just surprised at first; I had never ever, EVER heard of a lawyer charging a client before services are rendered.
But you are in Africa, so you know more about how things work there than I do. You are correct.
>MEANWHILE, I HAVE THE POWER TO GET ALL THE >DOCUMENTS YOU MENTIONED OF, BUT THE PROBLEM IS
>THAT WE HAVE TO GET SOME PAPERS WHICH HAS EXPIRED, >LIKE MINISTER OF FINANCE CERTIFICATE, CERTIFICATE OF
>INCORPORATION, AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST, STAMP DUTY E.T.C.
>
>PLEASE SIR, I WILL LIKE YOU TO BEAR IN MIND THAT I> >WANT TO HELP PAUL TOO, AND AM A CHRISTAIN. THE
>MONEY I ASKED FOR IS TO SETTLE THE COURT BECAUSE I >DO NOT HAVE MONEY NOW. YOU KNOW WE ARE JUST
>RECOVERING FROM WAR.
Yes, I know the pain of recovering from War. Of licking your wounds. Or nursing old grudges. Like when the Fleet was at war with the Klingonese. I hate those Klingons! Those Klingon swine killed my son, a son that I won't ever have the chance to see grow up to be a true man, and all... all
because!
Of war.
>SIR, I WILL ADVISED YOU TO ARRANGE WITH PAUL FOR >THE DOCUMENTS AND I PROMISE TO GIVE YOU THE BEST
>SERVISE.
>
>PLEASE SIR, ALL THE DOCUMENTS SHALL BE FORWARDED >TO YOU AS SOON AS I RECEIVED THE MONEY, TRUST ME
>AM A MAN OF WORD AND I HAVE MY INTERGRITEE IN THIS >MATTER.
Mr. Barrister Kaka, I the funds cleared and all ready to send to you.
And since you are helping me navigate the ins and outs of the court system in your country, I will help you do the same for the US.
As I mentioned in the previous page, these scammers will try and get you to fork over money for documents they say are necessary to do business... one of the most popular ones lately has been an "Anti-Terror" certificate, which means you pay them money for a certificate that ensure that the money you'll be getting does not come from Terrorists. As was pointed out to me on the Nigerian Scam Baiting message board, since they're trying to get me to think their documents are the real deal, they tend to think whatever I throw at them is the real deal. Which leads me to...
You see, ever since terrorism has become such a huge problem here in the US, before I can legally send you the processing fees for the documents, I need to pay for and have signed an Incoming Monetary Funds Transfer Terrorist-Free Certification Document. And let me tell you, these certifications don't come cheaply.
However, I have graciously paid the fee to have this document certificate provided. I have also signed it.
I have scanned it into my computer for you to sign, then scan, and then e-mail this back to me.
Once you have done so, I will then be able to give you the funds you've requested (plus a little extra for all your time and trouble, and to show you I am a man of my word, too).
>THANKING YOU,
>BARRISTER MORRIS.
Mr. Morris, please relay this to Barrister Kaka, since I was told I would be contacting him, and not you.
Hurry! Warp factor nine!
Engagingly yours,
Adm. James T. Kirk, (Ret.)
Meanwhile, Paul replies with a tersely worded email...
You are welcome
Good morning uncle,
Am happy to hear that the Holiday was enjoyable, but uncle you have to take it easy with girls of this days hahahaha.
Uncle I think am ok to hear that the lawyer will start his work as soon as he receives his fees.
But uncle I told you to send the money through western union not post, please call the money back and send it together with the lawyers fees so that I will go to him. I told you I useto hid myself notfor anything but for security reasons, don't you immagine a small boy of my age controlling $5m in Africa? Please if if you will liketo resend the money either to the lawyer or to my fathers gateman CLETUS EKENE please I do not want to expossemyself until I come overto America.
Uncle this is something I do not have any experience of it before, I do not know what to say hahaha.
Please uncle I want you to send the money today so that I can be able to travel to the village to ferch the documents the lawyer asked for.
God bless you
Paul.
Hmmm. Someone doesn't seem very happy about losing
out on a hundred dollars. Nor does he seem happy about things not following the
script. I won't be happy about that at all.
However, most of Wednesday, my internet connection was down due to various
upgrades and the like. So when I finally could check my email, I found two
messages in my inbox from Barrister Kaka/ The first contained a nice surprise:
DEAR SIR,
I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL, ATTACHED WITH THE FORM WHICH I HAVE ALREADY SIGNED AND RETURED WITH THIS MAIL.
MR. JAMES, THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THAT AFRICANS ARE DEFFRENT FROM ANY OTHER COUNTRY.
Looks like buttering him up a bit did the trick.
AS I TOLD PAUL EALIER, I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION TRANSFER WITH NAME MR CLETUS EKENE ADDRESS ABIDJAN COTE D’IVOIRE.
THE NAME IS PAUL FATHERS GATEMAN, I WILL LIKE HIM TO GO AND PICK THE MONEY AND GIVE IT TO PAUL, BECAUSE I WILL LIKE HIM TO WITHNESS ALL THE PROTOCALS ON THIS ISSUE.
And I know that's true, as sure as my name's James T. Kirk.
BE ADVISED THAT AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY EMAIL ME THE CONTROL NUMBER AND ALL THE NECESSARY QUESTIONS TO ANSWER.
Eh. I need to do more research before I send him on a wild goose chase. So I'll have some fun instead.
MY WORD TO YOU IS THAT I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN, AS YOU WANT TO HELP THE ONLY SON OF MR. ALIMAN KOMO.
PLEASE YOU ARE TALKING WITH BARRISTER MORRIS KAKA ESQ.
TILL I HEAR FROM YOU.
MORRIS.
And here's the signed certificate! Now don't you
feel safer?
I mean, he's not supporting a misspelled terrorist cell, people that want to
separate from the Federation, non-existent French terrorists, G.I. Joe's
arch-enemy, actual Nigerian terrorists, OR Rush Limbaugh, so maybe he's on the
up and up.
And, later that day....
Mr. James,
I was surprised not to see your mail this morning and I called Paul if you do and he say’s you do not. I hope you received the mail I sent back to you yesterday?
So what the matter should be? Please I will like to round this issue this week because I will be very busy by next week, I have many client to attend to in the court.
And also Paul is worried to leave this country to see you.
Talk to me.
Barrister Kaka.
Well, with all this need to rush, I certainly can't meddle too much with Western Union, can I? So, first some apologizing... and then a way to wave even more money in his greedy little face...