Captain's Log: Encounter with Paul Komo
Having received a 419 scam offer from a man claiming to be Paul Komo in my
normal email, I created a Hotmail account and replied to him with an offer of
interest. I wanted to see if he'd pick up on the fact that this was an email
address he hadn't mailed anything to before.
A simple IP check traced him to a small ISP in... Lagos, Nigeria. Fancy that.
For ease of reading, his letters are in green, my
responses are in black, and any editorial comments I
have are in blue italics.
PAGE 8
I figured it was time to annoy Barrister Morris, AND ply him with money as well, and see if he was willing enough to weather the tide of insults after I dropped a whole lotta zeroes on him.
Dear Barrister Morris,
>I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL, ATTACHED WITH THE FORM WHICH >I HAVE ALREADY SIGNED AND RETURED WITH THIS MAIL.
Barrister Morris, thank you for returning this form so quickly. I had to secure it at personal cost to myself, as you know, governments seem to charge so much for these required certificates and documents.
>MR. JAMES, THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THAT AFRICANS ARE DEFFRENT FROM ANY OTHER >COUNTRY.
Well of course. You can't help it that Nigeria is a lesser country. It's not your fault that you weren't born in the USA, it's just a matter of one's ancestors, after all.
Please note that this is only directed as THIS CROOK in particular. I also
designed this paragraph to be as insulting as possible. You see, most Nigerians
are fiercely patriotic. And even more so, the absolute worst insult you can
possibly level at a Nigerian is to insult his or her ancestors. It'll be interesting
to see if he lets this slide or not.
>AS I TOLD PAUL EALIER, I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND THE >MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION >TRANSFER WITH
>NAME MR CLETUS EKENE ADDRESS ABIDJAN COTE D’IVOIRE. >THE NAME IS PAUL >FATHERS GATEMAN, I WILL LIKE HIM
>TO GO AND PICK THE MONEY AND GIVE IT TO PAUL, >BECAUSE I WILL LIKE HIM TO WITHNESS ALL THE
>PROTOCALS ON THIS ISSUE.
I can see why you want me to transfer the fee to someone that is not the lawyer I will be paying (you), or the person I am trying to help (Paul). If I understand correctly, you want young Paul to see just how things are done when
receiving money from the United States!
>BE ADVISED THAT AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY EMAIL ME THE CONTROL NUMBER AND ALL >THE NECESSARY QUESTIONS TO ANSWER.
Yes, certainly. This whole Western Union Business seems a little complicated, actually; I'll get back to you later in the day.
>MY WORD TO YOU IS THAT I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN, AS YOU WANT TO HELP THE ONLY >SON OF MR. ALIMAN KOMO.
That is good, because if I think you are not helping, I will be more than happy to find legal representation
elsewhere.
So, a little veiled threat...
Now I will look into the Western Union Transfer later today. I'm not sure if I will have the entire $28,000 fee, I may have to send 27,000 tonight and then the rest later. I will work as fast as I can.
...and then the offer of a LOT of money. That right,
Kirk has apparently misunderstood and will be sending TEN TIMES AS MUCH AS WAS
ASKED FOR. I can almost hear the ka-CHING in the lad's eyes.
>PLEASE YOU ARE TALKING WITH BARRISTER MORRIS KAKA ESQ.
Oh! And here I have been adressing you with the wrong last name! Please, Mr Esq, I apologize.
Mr. Esq, I will contact you later with the numbers and funds.
And one last thumb in the eye!
I do apologize, as my ISP server was down for most of yesterday, due to repairs.
Sincerely,
Admiral James T. Kirk, (ret.)
CEO/CFO U.P. Shipyards and Fleet
And then, a simple follow up email to him...
Dear Mr. Barrister Esq,
I am so sorry for the delay, Mr. Esq. My Internet Service Provider was down for repairs yesterday.
I screamed at my Engineer, Mr. Scotty, all day to fix it. I asked him if he could give the server more power.
And even with him adding more dilithium crystals to the web server, but he yelled back "Admiral, I dinnae have the POWER!" because it turned out that the power had gone out at a relay station, and then that made some emergency repairs
necessary.
Everything is fixed now, I will see about getting everything settled at the Western Union.
Sincerely,
Adm. Kirk
Here is where my plans hit a snag.I couldn't find a reliable scan of a WU transfer sheet. And I don't own a scanner, so I was out of luck there. Plus, the more I thought about it, the more I figure I wanted to wait and research a bit more before I would claim to send anything WU. Instead, I took a webcam shot from Harry Blumpkin's 419 site that showed a bogus check a 419er had sent him, and gussied it up a little. Unfortunately, every time I tried to launch the Type Tool in Photoshop, my entire system crashed on me, so it didn't turn out as good... but it may still work... read on...
Dear Mr. Barrister Esq,
I went to the Western Union to go and arrange payment like you had asked. And let me tell you, it was such a bother! First they asked all these questions, and then they said that there was a limit on how much money I could transfer, and they started hemming and hawing at me.
And then as if the attitude they gave me wasn't bad enough, I found out that I couldn't send the whole $27,000 at once; I was told there was a limit to sending over 5,000 dollars at a time.
I swear to all that is holy... I put my life on the line for my Fleet and my country.... and then they treat me like this! So I told them that they could take their rules and regulations, roll them into a tight cylinder, and then cram it right up their Jeffries Tube!
Oh dear! It looks like Adm. Kirk's temper has gotten
the better of him.
So, I've written a cashier's check payable to the Cletus person, and I'm sending it to the address that Paul provided my for your lawyer's office. I don't like dealing with middlemen anyway.
I do severely apologize for for not having the full $28,000 dollars you requested. The check is made out instead for the amount of $27,750 and 16 cents. I will have the remaining 250 dollars by the end of this week.
So, will he be ecstatic that I've sent him so much
money, or upset that I have not sent it via Western Union?
So, since that check has been sent, and should arrive at your office in a matter of days, please start on getting everything you can to me, so I can start
again helping Paul.
Kirk out,
Adm. James T. Kirk (ret.)
And I attached the following photo, which would have looked even better if PS
didn't @#$%ing crash on my ten times in a row:
Now, I couldn't neglect my poor nephew, and again, I wanted to get him thinking
about all that money....
My Dear Nephew Paul,
>Good morning uncle,
>
>Am happy to hear that the Holiday was enjoyable, but
>uncle you have to take it easy with girls of this days
>hahahaha.
Well, I did take it easy; I'm not a young man any more, and Viagra would bring the unwanted specter of a possible heart attack.
But, as one chef said to me once, "Just because you are on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu", right?
>Uncle I think am ok to hear that the lawyer will start
>his work as soon as he receives his fees.
Well, Paul. I just got a cashier's check made out for the 27,000 dollars he requested, and it should be winding its way to your country in a matter of days! I decided not to mess around or wait since he said it was VERY important that he get the money.
>But uncle I told you to send the money through western
>union not post, please call the money back and send it
>together with the lawyers fees so that I will go to
>him. I told you I useto hid myself notfor anything but
>for security reasons, don't you immagine a small boy
>of my age controlling $5m in Africa? Please if if you
>will liketo resend the money either to the lawyer or
>to my fathers gateman CLETUS EKENE please I do not
>want to expossemyself until I come overto America.
Don't worry, the 27,000 dollar chasier's check is on its way to CLETUS at the lawyer's address.
And about the money I sent you; it's not like I sent you 5 million dollars! I only sent
you a small 100 dollar bill, hidden in a birthday card.
I had said earlier I wasn't sure if I had enough stamps to send it, but it turns out that I do!
I can just see him flipping out at knowing that the
100 dollars won't reach him since it was "sent by post".
>Uncle this is something I do not have any experience
>of it before, I do not know what to say hahaha.
Hah hah hah ha hah hah hah hah ah hah hah hah! Ha.
Nephew, you are too modest. Really, you are from this area! So just give me a word that means "strong" and a word that means "chef".
I figured I'd harp on that a bit. He didn't take the bait when I mentioned I
was told something that turns out to be "Go Away, white guy" in
Nigerian; I'm thinking if I can throw in enough odd requests, he'll be a tad
distracted.
>Please uncle I want you to send the money today so
>that I can be able to travel to the village to ferch
>the documents the lawyer asked for.
Well, I've gotten everything rolling.
And don't forget if you need it, there's also the account I set up for you as an offshore account.
Again, dangling more money in front of the lad.
Let's see if he bites...
Regards,
Uncle Jim